Quotes

"I'm off to class to watch kids cry."

Post By Request

I have never had a request for an update. Probably one of the many contributing factors of my not blogging much or consistently.

I am going to try to blog more so maybe I will try to keep my brain open for ideas. I also would like input about topics you've read here that you'd like to see more often. I will try to listen for funny quotes!

I thought I would mention a couple of things in my first post back.

1. Funny comic http://falsewithasmith.com/
2. David is going to have a time slot on http://vader.boisestate.edu/stumedia/university-pulse/ starting sometime this semester.
3. I am trying to learn American Sign Language so I may post related items for anyone interested in that challenge. I am using http://www.lifeprint.com/ to help me learn right now and I have a textbook with videos from a friend who took the BSU class.
4. We recently got bicycles and anyone who talks to me will know that I am sore almost all the time but loving the fun of riding my bike. It is the first time I have enjoyed exercise in awhile. I will try to post pictures of my new toy once I get my camera back.
5. Pumpkin Spice Lattes at Starbucks are back and we all know how much I LOVE them. I got one today and it was delicious. It was even better because I enjoyed it with a friend.
6. Viola is good. She had been sick a few weeks ago, but seems 100% normal.

Hope all is well with you and thanks for not ditching me :)

Student Quotes

"Trinomial times Trinomial! Hold on. Better turn my paper to landscape." 

 

"Monomial? I thought you said Malt-o-Meal." 

"Someone left their fingernail on my keyboard. I'm not going to touch it - it isn't on a key I use much anyway."

Have a merry dead week and a happy finals week, too!

"Where's my hand?"

David was sleeping when I called him last night. He doesn't remember talking to me. What he does remember is what happened in the middle of the night...

Him: "Where's my hand?" - said in a PANIC.

Me: "What do you mean? It is right here." And I grab both his arms to show him his hands.

Him: "No that is your arm! Where is MY arm and hand?"

Me: "Right here!"

Him: "Oh I thought that was your arm." Almost instantly he went back to sleep.


I thought he had been dreaming. Apparently, his arm was asleep so he couldn't feel anything and the weight of his arm felt like it was coming from me.

Funny Wake Ups

David usually tells me when I say something 1/2 asleep. This morning the following conversation took place:

ALARM GOES OFF AND DAVID GETS UP TO TURN IT OFF
Me: "Did you get the answer right?"
Him: "I set the alarm for the right time."

I went back to sleep- I guess I was satisfied with that answer.


Too much math? Nah.

Quotes from Class

More quotes from my Abstract Algebra class. Remember the German accent.

"This is an example of a bad proof. The best thing I can say about this proof is that it is probably correct."



"There should be a law: after 1000 times you shouldn't have to write square root of 2 or one half plus two thirds ever again. It would be illegal to write it after that."



"If you're lucky by the end of the course half your students know what you're talking about."



"Anything beyond x = 2/3 is too much."



"We always b**** about the bad students because they are always in your face, but there are many good students. I have to remind myself of this often or I'd shoot myself... but... I also have to consider my dog."

Quotes from Class

"While slavery was in full swing here in the US, Gauss was thinking about UFDs."


He wrote 'Same Natter' on the board and we call laughed. He said "Same Natter. Isn't 'natter' a word? I played scrabble with someone and they used it... it's famous... you can google it."

Sometimes he writes funny things when he is feeling too laid back to write all the details.

The funny part here is the "p divides this" statement.

Quotes from Class

Other Professor: (This professor says some funny things, but not as many as the other one. This professor teaches my Linear Algebra class and these should be read with thick Latino accent.)

(Speaking of America's history) "In this country you have New York. Other than that you don't have cities- you have trains."

"If we squint a little bit, then it looks like the two dimensional complex number space."

"Whenever you have an equivalence you feel compelled to make a collection."

"If you choose carefully, then lots of good things will happen."

"I was young and happy doing homework and watching X-files on Sundays, I remember."

Quotes from Class

I've needed some good laughs lately and so I gathered all the quotes I haven't had time to post. I will post these today and some more (from a different professor) are scheduled for next week while I am on spring break!

Student Quote:

"I have to self intersect... that always makes me uncomfortable."



Professor Quotes: (This is the same professor as previous Quotes from Class posts. He teaches Abstract Algebra and is also my thesis advisor. These should be read with a thick German accent.)

"So Gauss probably took out his ipod and his headphones were tangled for the thousandth time and he got fed up so he developed knot theory."

"Oh that's bad notation but I can't help it because it's in the book."

"We have five more minutes so we might as well go on. On the other hand we might as well quit."

"Here's a cute little theorem for you."

"And all of this is sort of bean counting."

"I'm 90% sure but I could be 10% wrong."

"You caught me on a pretty bad lie."

"...which is what you want, because all we have to do is factor, so we are done. At this point your calc students yell out 'But that's not what it says in the back of the book!' to which I say, 'Oh well!'"

"There's an annoying lemma coming up."

"Plus, I lost one of my contacts so I'm down on one eye."

Written on the board: "45 + 24 = too much"

"It's a good group but way too special."

"Who cares about small numbers? Screw 1, 2, 3, 4, 5."

"If this doesn't smell like free to you, then I don't know what does."

"I'm wearing sweaters with holes in protest of teacher salary cuts."

Quotes from Class

More math class quotes by same professor:


"You can also play with these things quietly in your room."


"I feel like I'm kicking a dead horse now."


(He walks to other part of the chalkboard.) "Let me do this on scratch paper."


"What now? There are probably a bunch of definitions and horrible lemmas I don't even want to prove."

Quotes from Class

Olympic Edition:

"The Jordan-Holder Theorem deserves a medal. It's just as important, if not more so, than skiing."



"I should get a medal- Fastest Proposition 5.57 Prover. Now let me go on TV and drag bits of my private life out."



"You brush your teeth as a warm up for your math course."



"Let's prove this- I might run out of patience, but then I only get the silver medal."

Quotes from Class

My math professor is hilarious. We all agree he isn't trying to be funny.


"I wouldn't know how to define 'theorem.' Theorems are just statements, like, 'All cats are gray,' except theorems are supposed to be true, and this one isn't- (pause) by counterexample."


"Criminal things always pay off - so that's always an option."



"The devil would have to do a lot of screwing to make this not isomorphic to that."

Daba Explained

My husband and I are a unit. We both are compliments to each other and act best as a whole. When we became a couple, we decided on a funny "celebrity couple nickname" - Daba. Da for David. Ba for Bailey. The pronunciation is easy: Da is like the Irish name for father, which rhymes with ba as in the sound a sheep makes.

If you are married, then what would be your celebrity couple name?

Two-pence by Husband

Only thrice in my life did I wind up with fleas
I then asked for advice from the low-hanging trees

"Oh good sir, not these
No advice from the trees
Without paying my massiveness,
Credulous fees."

"I'm not paying fees!" said my sad swollen knees
Who's voice had been rubbed wrong from swallowing bees

"Who spoke?" spoke the trees with their arms raised to seize
"We did!" said my morally sad swollen knees

"But kneecaps you are for little old czar,
Who's gameplay of sublets is only subpar.
Take off those snow masks and reveal who you are!"

My knees then bent back and then brought out a stack
Of books, papers, bungalows, lamb on a rack

"Oh man!" said my spine that was not a straight line
"I've never before had to drink all my brine!"

Then the swine tried to fine my incapable spine
With words, wisdom, newspapers, coins that won't shine
And its only way to convince me to stay
(Though stay I will without a bill:
A drill to fill up my fill)
Is to crawl on all fours through the red-wooden doors,
And to eat on the feet that walk steps to meet
A man with a hat and cigar-smoking cat
Who can play a tune grey with string, sticks and hay:
Yet better to pine and distill us some wine
With grapes, nectars, daffodils, summer squash vine

"Your not making sense
Like a garden hose fence!
For the time that you've wasted you owe us two-pence!"

No cash in my pocket, no list on my docket
I escaped my fate on a double-Schwinn Rocket

My Husband Can Be Funny

So I am posting a couple of remarks that appeared on twitter recently. This is a warm up for his guest post coming soon to... well... right here.

• You should hang out with me often, then you'll have something to say (on twitter) all the time.

• ME: "I'm having fun. Aren't you?" HIM: "Yeah, In a SAW kind of way."

Sermon Says...

The speaker Sunday night said some funny things. I believe they are funnier out of context.

I'm not going green on anybody.

My wife got sick and I lost my caregiver.

When did you bring me a cup of coffee... I mean... when did you bring me a cup of cold water?

Is this BroncoNation? I think I'm starting to fit in- I even got an orange shirt.

I worked 8 to faint.

Well, when we look at...oh that's the end.

First Day of Finals

This week is finals week. Always a week of stress and little sleep. Perhaps this is an example:

Today I was walking down the hall toward my office five minutes before the first final. I passed a girl sitting in the hallway. She said, "Good luck." She was very friendly and smiled.

Smiling, I said, "I'm not taking a final. I'm a teacher. But thanks anyway."

She explained why she made the assumption that I am a student. I smiled and said thanks again, then walked into my office.

I found it humorous. I hope she does better on her finals than she did in the hall... that is... assuming she is a student who has finals this week.

A Tribute

Never have I found a site so consistently funny and in line with my sense of humor as xkcd.com. The site is dedicated to nerdy humor involving mathematical and scientific concepts. I don't want to steal any of their comics to post here, but I just wanted to say that I love the comic and if you like mathematics, then you'll love this site.

The Difference Between Red and Green

I almost died laughing during Abstract Algebra today:

Teacher: "...one is green and the other is red so there isn't much difference"

Important observation: Teacher is COMPLETELY colorblind.

My thoughts: "I know what he means, but to him, there is NO difference, and to me, those colors seem completely different... either way, the analogy doesn't work."

(I knew he meant very there is very little difference. And on another note...)



In your opinion: Is there a big difference between red and green? What if there is another context, like there are two cars exactly the same except one is red and the other is green, then is there a big difference?