"Where's my hand?"

David was sleeping when I called him last night. He doesn't remember talking to me. What he does remember is what happened in the middle of the night...

Him: "Where's my hand?" - said in a PANIC.

Me: "What do you mean? It is right here." And I grab both his arms to show him his hands.

Him: "No that is your arm! Where is MY arm and hand?"

Me: "Right here!"

Him: "Oh I thought that was your arm." Almost instantly he went back to sleep.


I thought he had been dreaming. Apparently, his arm was asleep so he couldn't feel anything and the weight of his arm felt like it was coming from me.

Logic in Math Class

My students had a quiz this week and there were logic circuits on the quiz. The directions required the student to "write a logical statement using the diagram." Since I didn't emphasize that their answers should be in the form of a *symbolic* statement, one student decided to only write an English statement, which would have been alright if the student had done it correctly.

Here is what the student wrote:
"If it is delicious it is fried or it is not pork, but if it is fried it is pork."




This is funniest while grading at 2 am. The handwriting only makes it funnier.

Traditions in Daba Town (part 1)

We have a lot of traditions in Daba Town. Some we established as early as December 2006 (when David and I became an official couple). There are some we try very hard to keep and some we have missed a few times, yet it is still in the back of my mind. We made a rule when we got married: "We're our own family now! We get to make our own traditions!"

Since we have just experienced the massive celebratory season (middle November to middle January) and since we have a couple celebrations coming up, I thought it would be fun to list some of our non-traditional traditions.

• Birthdays- David's birthday is coming up: Birthdays begin with sparkling Welch's grape juice at midnight. They are spent with spouse = slave of birthday spouse. Usually this day includes an expensive restaurant meal (on top of family home-made, birthday person's requested meal some day after actual birthday). Since we are impatient people here in Daba Town, we usually buy expensive presents "for each other" in mid November and call them our "Christmas/Birthday" gifts. By the time birthdays come around, we always like to spend a little more on a small token-ish present, usually a video game.
  
• Valentine's Day- We were very poor for our first couple of Valentine's Days, so we began the $5 limit rule. For Valentine's Day we exchange gifts worth $5 or less. We've decided that after every 5 years of marriage we will add $5 to our gift limit. (David wanted us to start at $50 and work our way down, but he knows we can't afford THAT every year.)
• Thanksgiving- When on our own in Kentucky and working at the movie theater on Thanksgiving, we made the traditional mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, rolls, deviled eggs, and pumpkin pie. We also included egg rolls and jalapeno poppers.
  
• Daba Day- January 26th, the average of our two birthdays. We didn't do anything special for Daba Day this year because on that particular day we were really busy with school. This day came about because of the Wii. We thought it would be fun to make a "Mii" character who was the average of both our features. It was just a joke. When they asked for the name, of course we put Daba, but then it asked the birthday and we realized Daba needed a special day! Why put our anniversary when we can come up with another day to make special- another "excuse" to have fun? Thus the average of our birthday became a Daba Town holiday. Sometimes it is celebrated with a date or just making time to spend together at home, but we always say "Happy Daba Day!"

To be continued... but... What are some of your non-traditional traditions?

Two-pence by Husband

Only thrice in my life did I wind up with fleas
I then asked for advice from the low-hanging trees

"Oh good sir, not these
No advice from the trees
Without paying my massiveness,
Credulous fees."

"I'm not paying fees!" said my sad swollen knees
Who's voice had been rubbed wrong from swallowing bees

"Who spoke?" spoke the trees with their arms raised to seize
"We did!" said my morally sad swollen knees

"But kneecaps you are for little old czar,
Who's gameplay of sublets is only subpar.
Take off those snow masks and reveal who you are!"

My knees then bent back and then brought out a stack
Of books, papers, bungalows, lamb on a rack

"Oh man!" said my spine that was not a straight line
"I've never before had to drink all my brine!"

Then the swine tried to fine my incapable spine
With words, wisdom, newspapers, coins that won't shine
And its only way to convince me to stay
(Though stay I will without a bill:
A drill to fill up my fill)
Is to crawl on all fours through the red-wooden doors,
And to eat on the feet that walk steps to meet
A man with a hat and cigar-smoking cat
Who can play a tune grey with string, sticks and hay:
Yet better to pine and distill us some wine
With grapes, nectars, daffodils, summer squash vine

"Your not making sense
Like a garden hose fence!
For the time that you've wasted you owe us two-pence!"

No cash in my pocket, no list on my docket
I escaped my fate on a double-Schwinn Rocket