My math professor is hilarious. We all agree he isn't trying to be funny.
"I wouldn't know how to define 'theorem.' Theorems are just statements, like, 'All cats are gray,' except theorems are supposed to be true, and this one isn't- (pause) by counterexample."
"Criminal things always pay off - so that's always an option."
"The devil would have to do a lot of screwing to make this not isomorphic to that."